Dominant / Dom
A person who takes an agreed leading role.
Submissive / Sub
A person who consensually gives specific control within agreed limits.
Top / Bottom
Usually describes who performs and receives an activity; it does not always describe identity or power.
Switch
Someone comfortable in more than one role.
Scene
An agreed period of BDSM activity or roleplay.
Negotiation
The discussion of activities, boundaries, signals, risks and aftercare.
Hard limit
Something a person does not consent to.
Soft limit
Something considered only under specific conditions.
Safe word
An agreed signal to pause or stop; any participant may use it.
Aftercare
Agreed physical or emotional support after a scene.
24/7 dynamic
A relationship structure extending beyond individual scenes, still governed by consent.
Bottom-led scene direction (often called “topping from the bottom”)
A phrase for a receiving or submissive partner attempting to direct the agreed scene. It should not be confused with communicating needs, giving feedback, setting a boundary or using a safe word - all of which are healthy and necessary.
Vanilla
An informal term for activities or relationships not identified as kinky.
Edge play
A broad term for unusually high-risk physical or emotional activities requiring advanced knowledge.